Due to the fact that Calamity is too overrun with street gangs for us to operate at full capacity in that location, Mallboro.com is now offering a bounty on Choques, a notorious gang in that city, to lessen their population and allow the free transport of our goods and services in that town. As we are a peaceful organization, we will not condone violence committed against others, even if they are members of gangs. As such, we will offer a diminished bounty on wounded Choques and no bounty whatsoever on slain Choques. Capture them with care, for they are humans too.
Captured Choques should be brought to the south end of Calamity, where we will have a small holding facility in place. The Choques will then be transported (humanely, of course), to a location where they cannot harm others. Do not attempt to deceive us by giving us people who are not Choques; we are well aware of their mannerisms and behavior and we shall offer no reward for helpless people forcefully dressed in yellow and sent to our holding facility.
Thank you all for your service and cooperation as we attempt to further improve our world.
- Bounty
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returntovoid- March 17th, 1:33
- Now Hiring!
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- returntovoid
- March 15th, 23:04
Greetings, survivors of the apocalypse! The world may be destroyed, but the internet is still thriving! Come join the next frontier in world-wide business, Mallboro.com!
About us:
Mallboro.com is a fresh new organization that seeks to capitalize on the recent void in business and trade by establishing communications and networks in areas that have been devastated by the catastrophe. In addition to providing communication services, Mallboro.com shall also be at the forefront of global reconstruction, using our resources to determine who is most in need and provide aid to those suffering souls.
Our Goals:- Form global financial stability by reestablishing the economy.
- Provide work for the unemployed, food for the hungry, and shelter for the homeless.
- Connect separated loved ones and ensure a safe reunion.
- Improved communications between people.
- Greater access to necessary supplies, including food, shelter, and medicine.
- Faster recovery from this tragedy.
- A secure, permanent, high-paying job immediately, regardless of prior records or past experience!
- Shorter recovery time. Be back on your feet sooner than anyone else!
- The knowledge that your job helps others, even while it's helping you!
- But wait! I'm still rebuilding my life! I'm not stable enough to take a job on the internet! Why should I get involved? Mallboro.com requires a minimal investment of time and effort, leaving you plenty of hours in the day in order to better get your affairs in order. In addition, as Mallboro.com expands, so too will our capacity to lend aid to those in need. So it's no stretch to say that working for Mallboro.com is just as good, if not better than working alone to rebuild!
- What exactly is Mallboro.com? What is your business model? Mallboro.com uses the internet to facilitate trade and communications between individuals, connecting our fragmented world into one unified whole so as to improve the reconstruction effort.
- I have no experience with this sort of thing. Is there anything I can do? We have jobs available for every skill set, from the very advanced to the inexperienced! We are looking for programmers, editors, delivery persons, designers and much more! If you don't have any experience in those fields, we offer a free online training course! If you're not interested in getting involved with that, then we are always in need of Sellers!
- What are Sellers? Sellers are the gears that turn the machine of Mallboro.com! Sellers offer necessary materials online to needy individuals, taking what isn't needed in one place and giving it where it is needed! All it takes is a few minutes of your time and some useful supplies that are better off somewhere else! All our Sellers receive a percentage of everything they sell on Mallboro.com! The more experienced you are, the greater your percentage!
- How can I sign up? Simply reply to this post expressing your interest, and we will tell you the next step! In addition, certain members of the citizenry are eligible for ADDITIONAL INCENTIVES!
- How do I know if I'm one of those certain citizens? Reply to this post, and we will tell you if you are eligible or not! You'll never know unless you ask! There's no obligation to sign up for anything, so reply immediately! Positions are going fast!
- YOU SHALL NEVER BE RID OF US
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- returntovoid
- March 3rd, 22:33
We have awoken.
We have returned.
We have not forgotten.
- Forgotten, but not gone....
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- returntovoid
- March 25th, 2010
We are continually surprised by you all. Despite a war being raged, you show up to work, complain of coworkers, and whine about your sporting matches. Despite being obviously manipulated, you volunteer for conscription into the service of entities who will ultimately bring you all endless pain and suffering. You doubt us, but we have seen this before. We have watched a world be sundered by the petty competitions of light and dark. They shall come to you and promise boons and comforts, power and wisdom. They will turn your mind against their foes, make you fight their wars, and misery and suffering shall be the result. Even beyond the war, beyond the corpses and destruction, there is no victory for any of you. We have seen a world of pure light, and we have seen a world of pure darkness, and both are so horrendous you could not begin to comprehend it. All ends are futile ends.
But we are different. We shall offer you another option, one that will become more appealing as the layers of deceit are peeled off the false gods you call "Cosmos" and "Chaos." In the Void there is no fear, or war, no struggle or strife, for there is nothing to fear and no one to feel fear, and no one to war against. The Void offers the only peace any of you shall ever know.
Still you doubt? Let us reveal some truth. We know of the Phoenix Eye. It is, literally, an eye of a phoenix. "What purpose could such an object serve?" we wondered. For a moment, we thought that your pursuit of futility had reached new depths, but then we remembered that you creatures always seek the illusion of progress, of change, and that all your actions seek meaning despite the fact that no such thing exists. This effort desires a consequence, but what could it be? Then we realized it. Phoenixes, unlike anything else in any world, straddle life and death in ways no one comprehends. Worlds unknowable are visited daily by these beasts, thus their eyes must be attuned to things normal eyes cannot perceive. It is a well known fact that phoenixes can perceive who has experienced the false oblivion of death, and the servants of Cosmos must have found a way to replicate that ability using only a phoenix's eye. To what end? Haha... let us simply say that some of you were too eager to be tested, and you should be far, far more afraid than you are.
Today you will call us a liar, but soon the truth of our words shall be revealed, and you will seek the blessings of the Void.
- Hail, the conquering hero!
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- returntovoid
- January 8th, 2010
- Fools, fools, fools
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- returntovoid
- January 3rd, 2010
We grow weary of calling you all "fools" but it is the only word that sums up the scope of your idiocy. We did not think it was possible for absolute futility to become any more pointless, but we stand corrected. Congratulations, you have collectively plumbed new depths of worthlessness.
You seek to restore the crystals, thinking that they will protect you. We warn you all now that you will only add greater suffering upon yourselves. If you seek stablity, permanance, and freedom from pain, you must seek them in the void, for only there do such concepts exist. Your resistance to the truth only prolongs your misery. The crystals offer only empty promises and false hope. They will solve nothing.
We have finished our preparations. It is now time to act. Come mortals: find the void, or else surely the void shall find you.
- Do not forget about us
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- returntovoid
- December 22nd, 2009
What a gift the fat creature NORG has bestowed upon us! Scattered were the ants of his hill, here and there and everywhere. To smash them all would have taken so much of our time. But now....HA.... now all the little ants are in one big hill. One stomp of my boot and they shall all be crushed under my heel.
Sleep well, pitiful mortals. We know where you live.
- Fools, the lot of you!
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- returntovoid
- December 14th, 2009
Finally you have done it. Yes, finally you have driven us mad. Intolerable are your inane monkey antics, grating are your screeching monkey voices, and pointless are your insignificant monkey problems! You are but ants crawling on a corpse of a planet. Less than ants! Less than nothing! Fools, the lot of you! Do you not understand your own futility!? To struggle for order amidst chaos, to seek power when life is so fleeting, to commit crimes and to punish them. All such worthless waste. All equal in its lack of value. Its lack of meaning!
Out of morbid curiosity, we tried our hand at this pitiful thing you call "existence." We tried, even, to work at a pathetic store and live like you disgusting little creatures but to no gain! There is not one shred of usefulness in the entirety of the universe. Every last creature, every rock and pebble, everything just as useless as the last!
We bring to you now the only gift such a dismal world deserves: absolute oblivion. Not even a memory of your kind, of your world, of your history, of your lives shall remain. Naught but pure, perfect emptiness, untainted by your filth.
Disgusting. Wretched. Vile. Corrupt. Saccharine. False. Wasteful. Prideful. Lustful. Hateful. Giving. Taking. Cheating. All shall return to the void!
Short be the days left in your lives, but still the time that remains is far too much. Far more than you warrant.
